No Straw MenEnlightened discourse proscribes arguments that are weak or imaginary, like straw, set up only to be confuted summarily.

8 Animals That Are Dog-Tired of Waiting for Entitlement Reform

A version of this blog post appeared on BuzzFeed on August 2, 2013 and FreeEnterprise.com on August 5.

As Congress kicks the can on reforming the country’s entitlement programs, America’s future hangs in the balance. Since we’ve addressed the issue in the usual ways—speech, video, blog post, infographic, animated gif, Facebook post—we thought it was time for a listicle. With animals. BuzzFeed-style.

Thanks to the NRCC, Heritage Foundation, Mercatus Center, and Woodrow Wilson Center for paving the political ground for this newfangled approach.

I walk my human every day. Don’t tell me entitlement reform is too much work!

I have nine lives to plan for—can’t you tackle Social Security before my whiskers turn gray?

Listen, I’m the only one who should be playing dead when it comes to fixing Medicare.

I’m practicing for when the debt becomes so big, they start rationing the fish.

My kids deserve better.

Wake me when we stop pretending Simpson-Bowles never existed.

Oh, honey, I spend more time with a hair brush than Congress spends thinking about the future.

I’m not going to be this cute forever. Reform entitlements now!